Listen up.

When you’ve been served your coffee by the too-pleasant-for-this-early-but-I’m-sure-glad-they-are-patient clerk, thank the person politely, then move to the accessories table.

There you shall add whatever creams, milks, sugars, and other condiments you require. You shall do this in an expeditious manner. Then you shall get out of the way.

You shall not stand there, at the two-person stand-up, stirring away, trying to find zen in the clouds of milk distributing through the coffee or tea. You shall not stand there and sip at your beverage, gazing wistfully out the window at the coming dawn.

You shall get the fuck out of my way.

This is not a ritual, people, this is about getting caffeine into your system before your head explodes.

Sheesh.